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Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation
Author: Pastor Gary Jarvis
In his book, “Forgive and Forget,” Louis Smedes makes an appropriate distinction between Forgiveness and Reconciliation. Forgiveness is moving beyond the hurt someone causes us and not allowing it to cause us hurt anymore. When we move beyond the hurt, we are able to wish well upon the person who hurt us. Reconciliation requires forgiveness in order to be successful, but it is different. It is about transforming a relationship from one of hurt, hostility, or discord, and making it one of friendship.
In The Beatitudes, Christ calls us to go beyond forgiveness and work towards reconciliation, and I believe this is important, especially in the church. However, recognizing that forgiveness is something only we can do on our own through the power of Christ, reconciliation requires 2 or more parties who share in the goal of reconciliation. Christ knows reconciliation will not always happen so he gives us the last Beatitude, “Blessed are you who are persecuted for my sake, for yours is the Kingdom of Heaven .” Sometimes, after doing all we can to reconcile, we just need to forgive and move on, knowing the other person will not reconcile. We also need the Holy Spirit’s guidance to know when to keep fighting for reconciliation and when to stop.
